It’s taken me exactly 26 weeks to finally put pen to paper or should I say a finger to keyboard and write about the fact we are expecting our second baby. I actually had to say that out loud just to believe it myself. Falling pregnant with my first Theo I hugely took for granted, and the pregnancy itself I was massively naive about. For me this whole process from the start has been such an eye opener. Falling pregnant was the easy part which I feel so grateful that it was. We decided in July to stop being ‘careful’ and on 7th September in a Cumbrian hospital we were delivered the news we were PREGNANT!
Why a Cumbrian hospital you ask? well let me tell you the story behind that…
We were holidaying in the Lake District. I had been suffering from a little tummy ache the evening before. I basically put it down to trapped wind. So did all the things to try to relieve said wind (hands over face in embarrassment). The following day we decided to go for a walk to try and get things “moving”, but what actually happened was that it managed to cause me even more pain. So by that evening whilst the husband was shopping in Sainsbury for some wind-eze I was curled over in pain on the bathroom floor. We decided to call 111 for some advice and before I knew it the ambulance had arrived and I was being carted off to the local hospital. All slightly dramatic I agree.
Over the coming days and after returning home I was back and forth from A&E, the short version is I had an oversized cyst on my right Ovary measuring 9cm, I was roughly 5 weeks pregnant and I was constipated. If your still reading and I haven’t grossed you out yet well done you.
I was given a shit load of laxatives (pun intended), pain relief and sent for two early pregnancy scans. Having never experienced cysts before, in my head I was dying. Only after speaking to parents and friends did I then realise actually they are quite common and tend to disappear on their own. After a few weeks, bowel movement was back to normal which I know you will be pleased about and now was just the wait and 12 week countdown. So that’s basically the story behind how we found out. Not as interesting as you hoped I can tell.
As the pregnancy has continued I have experienced some, but very little nausea, tiredness (standard) and just the normal side effects you generally have when being pregnant. The first trimester being the hardest. I remember in those first 12 weeks feeling so anxious and worried about everything. Checking after each trip to the toilet for blood, worried about certain aches or pains. I basically was worried about even being worried. With baby loss awareness month being October and me being in those early weeks of pregnancy to say I was an emotional rollercoaster was an understatement. We told close family and friends our news and even that made me worry I had jinxed myself, but with feeling less than normal and having something we were so excited about its so hard to not share. Finally the 12 week mark arrived and a little weight finally lifted off my shoulders. Did I feel suddenly worry free? Absolutely not, but christ those 12 weeks felt the longest of my life and to finally see that little bean on the screen instantly reassured me. Also at the scan I was told my cyst had shrunk to just over 6cm, which couldn’t have made me feel happier. Not only is it worrying enough to be pregnant but also to be worrying about a cyst, in my mind I couldn’t comprehend how it was all going to fit into such a small space. So it was such a relief to me to know the cyst was shrinking.
We could finally tell the world our news.
However even being past the 12 week mark do you ever feel safe? Even getting to the halfway point and knowing that all is well and results are so far “normal” those dark little thoughts still manage to pop their evil heads up. The next dilemma though was, to found out the sex or not too? For us there was no decision to be made, we wanted to keep it a surprise.
I have learned that even as those weeks became more and more, the anxiety never really goes. Even now at 26 weeks my anxiety has gone from not so much the babies health but the labour itself.. But thats a whole new blog!