I adore my birthday.  I love my yearly binge drinking, mum dancing night with all my closest friends.  Everyone knows my night will always end with me spinning out, being sick, trying to eat a kebab and usually not being able to walk.  Very bad and not a good example but for one night of the year, I go for it.  (Sadly there is a lot of photographic evidence to support this).  IMG_3284

This year, it was all planned: dinner to line stomach followed by bar and a boogie.  My nearest and dearest invited.  The London friends coming for their annual Surrey hit and my outfit sorted.

However this year, it didn’t seem right.  Adult brain was creeping in over my ‘lets get pissed’ brain and I had to be sensible Susan.  Since Christmas, we had been wiped out, not only financially but non stop going out.  Throughout December, I don’t think my body had a day without gin.  From dinner dances, to hotel stays, the dreaded Christmas shopping and dinners out.  We had indulged and it was brilliant.

With the Christmas shopping, we went completely over the top.  The last-minute panic of not buying enough when actually the children had masses.  My husband and I only realised on Christmas eve when wrapping the many presents and staring at each other in disbelief.  Very lucky children, very poor parents.

IMG_8416My husband told me not to be stupid and cancel my night.  He said we can manage it, but I knew I had to.  Yes, we could have gone out and had a great time, but to waste money that January so desperately needed?  Nope, I had to be an adult.

I sent the text.  I am actually going through with it.  To my relief everyone was in the same boat.  Of course they all would have come, but they were the same as us; a night out three weeks after Christmas is not ideal and something we all could do without.  For the greater good, it was over.  The first time in my adult life I had not gone out for my birthday.

It was the right thing to do, but that did not stop the low mood for the lead up to the big day.  A lot of sleeping, chocolate and self-evaluation were part of my daily routine.  Get the violins out!

After telling the girls, we agreed on a walk and coffee, very civilised.  Followed by a Mexican night with the Latte gang.  On the Sunday a coffee with my bestie.  This was not so bad after all.  On the actual day; gorgeous dinner with my boys and the day after I was  treated to dinner by my mum and brother.

IMG_4702I got wonderful messages from all my dear friends and we agreed a girls night would be scheduled for February once we are all back on track.

This year, my birthday was a moment I looked at my life…deep I know.  I thought about the friends who are so dear to me, the ones I need to see more of and the ones that may be on different paths to me.  I am the grand old age of 35 years and I know it’s the quality not quantity that counts.  I am very blessed with my boys and hubby.  I have a gorgeous little family and best friends who are like sisters.  I don’t have to see everyone weekly for us all to be there for each other.

2018 is looking great; we have holidays booked, hen dos, wedding and birthdays.  I know I am loved and I don’t need a night out to be sick to prove it.  Roll on mid thirties!

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